Couch Potato
by MovieBuffStarlet
Summary: Angel and Collins help out a distraught Mimi with her boyfriend troubles...


_A/N: I got this idea a few days ago from a commercial in which they use that silly song "The Lion Sleeps Tonight". I was slightly drunk while I was writing this. Yes, I know this is OOC, crappy writing…but I had fun writing it, anyway. If you are offended by __horribly__ written crackfics, then this is NOT the fic for you. Hit the back button now. I'd prefer it if you didn't flame me…I warned you, after all. _

"_Finally_!" Mimi sighed, pulling open the door. "I'm _so glad_ you guys are…"

She stopped speaking, the words dying in her throat as she took in the sight of her two friends. Collins looked pretty normal…his arm was slung around Angel's shoulders.

Angel, on the other hand, looked a little…wide eyed? Almost like Willy Wonka on crack. She smiled widely at Mimi, tucking a strand of her wig behind her ear.

"What's the trouble?" Collins' voice broke into Mimi's thoughts.

"It's Roger…" Mimi answered him slowly, still not taking her eyes off of Angel. "He's being all depressed and pissy. I've tried _everything_…and I _still_ can't get his ass off the couch. He's been sleeping on it _all day_…"

"Oh, _honey_…don't get mad…." Angel giggled. Reaching forward, she stretched Mimi's lips up into a huge smile. "…get _glad_!"

Mimi pulled back, more than a little freaked out. "Collins…did you get her high again? What the heck?"

The professor shook his head, his adoring gaze never leaving his lover. "No, nothing like that….she just overdosed on Red Bull before we came here. Ain't she _cute_??"

"Um…" The Latina arched an eyebrow, her gaze going back and forth between Collins and the hyper drag queen.

"Oh, Rogerrrr…" Angel interrupted Mimi, brushing past her and practically skipping into the apartment.

Mimi grinned after her friend, then stepped back…allowing Collins to enter. They quickly followed Angel over to the sofa, where she was currently crouched in front of. She was repeatedly poking Roger in the side.

"Uhhh…what the _hell_…." The rocker grumbled. He shifted, opening his eyes just a little bit.

"Rise and shine, honey!" Angel chirped.

Roger glared at her for a few seconds, then rolled over onto his stomach, burying his face into the cushions.

"Fuck off, Angel." Came his muffled reply.

"Hey! Don't speak to Angel like that!" Collins exclaimed, a hint of warning in his tone.

"Exactly." Mimi nodded in agreement with her friend. "It's not her fault you're moping around…"

"No, no…it's okay, guys…" Angel soothed them. She stood up slowly, smoothing down her skirt. "I'm sorry I disturbed you, Roger."

Roger remained silent.

"In fact, I think I'll serenade you to sleep…so you can have sweet dreams." Angel continued, her eyes sparkling with mirth. She took a few steps back.

By this point, Mimi and Collins traded confused glances. They had no idea what to expect.

Taking a deep breath, Angel opened her mouth to sing. The voice she used was this cute, kind of creepy falsetto tone…it almost made her sound like a demented old woman:

"_On the sofa, the stinky sofa_

_The emo sleeps tonight_…."

Mimi raised an eyebrow in confusion. Collins, however, began to crack up. Ignoring both of them, Angel continued to sing…

"_On the sofa, the stinky sofa_

_The emo sleeps tonight_…."

Then, Angel tossed her head back, unleashing this piercing, bloodcurdling scream:

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEE-eeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeee- WEEEEE-ummm-ummmm-ummmm-a-weehhhh!!"

"What the _fuck_!?" Roger shrieked. He jumped, falling off the couch and landing onto the floor with a loud thud. His eyes widened as he saw Angel…who was dancing over towards him.

"Watch out, Roger…." Mimi teased. "She's gonna get you…"

A look of pure horror came over the rocker's face.

"_Noooooo_!!" He scrambled to his feet. He lunged over to Mimi, catching her wrist in his grasp. He made a mad dash towards the door, pulling the dancer along with him.

"Thanks, Angel!" Mimi grinned over her shoulder at the drag queen.

"You're welcome, sweetie!" Angel returned her smile, waving at them.

Then, Roger and Mimi were gone. Suddenly everything was peaceful and quiet again.

"Hey, Ang…" Collins turned to face his lover. He reached out, gripping onto Angel's ass with both hands. He pulled her to him.

"Yes, Thomas?"

"How come you never serenade _me_ to sleep?" Collins joked, a huge smile spreading across his face.

"You never asked." Angel giggled. "Pick a song…_any_ song. And I'll sing it to you tonight."

"Speaking of sleep….I'm fucking tired. We woke up way too early this morning…"

"Do you want to take a quick nap on their couch, honey?" Angel asked him, kissing him softly on the cheek.

"That ain't the _only_ thing I wanna do on their couch, Angelcake." Collins winked at her.

Angel smirked, turning her head to look at the lumpy, dingy sofa. For some reason, it looked strangely appealing all of the sudden.

"I'm sure Mimi and Roger wouldn't be pleased…"

"Hey…." Collins shrugged casually, a hint of mischief gleaming in his eyes. "What they don't know can't hurt them."

THE END

_A/N: Beyond awful, I know. This fic is crap minus 25. Don't bother reviewing. _


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